🌿 Signs You’re Carrying Too Much (Even If You’re High-Functioning)

Why that knot in your stomach, constant jaw tension, and endless to-do list aren’t personality quirks—they’re flags from your body and mind asking for care.

You keep it together… until you’re alone.

At work, you're efficient.
At home, you're the glue.
In friendships, you're the listener, the planner, the helper.

You get things done, even when you're exhausted.
You keep it together—until you're alone.

If this sounds familiar, you might be functioning at a high level… while carrying far too much inside.

🌙 What Does “Carrying Too Much” Actually Look Like?

Carrying too much doesn't always mean crisis. Sometimes, it looks like:

• Saying “I’m fine” but feeling a lump in your throat

• Tensing your jaw all day without realizing it

• Feeling inexplicably irritable around people you love

• Getting things done but feeling detached from them

• Crying in the car… then showing up to work like nothing happened

If you're nodding your head, you're not broken. You've likely just been in emotional survival mode for longer than your system was built to handle.

🌀 The Four Layers of Over-Functioning

Over-functioning isn’t just a personality trait—it’s a pattern rooted in deeper systems that affect your body, your emotions, your mind, and your history. Here’s how it shows up:

1. Emotional

You suppress your own feelings to take care of others.
You feel guilty for being sad, angry, or even tired.
You rarely ask, “What do I need?”

2. Physical

Your body is constantly “on.”
Your breath stays shallow, your muscles tense, your sleep disrupted.
These aren’t random—they’re survival signals your nervous system has normalized.

3. Psychological

You feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness.
You measure your worth by productivity, usefulness, or peacekeeping.
You second-guess your needs and over-apologize for them.

4. Developmental

Often, these patterns begin in childhood.
You may have been a parentified child—caring for siblings, managing a parent’s emotions, or trying to be “perfect” so the chaos didn’t get worse.

These adaptations helped you survive.
But now? They may be what’s keeping you stuck in overdrive.

💢 When Carrying Too Much Shows Up in Your Body

Your nervous system holds every unmet need, every moment you had to “keep it together.”

Many of my clients say:

“I didn’t even realize I was clenching my jaw.”
“It feels like I can’t breathe deeply—even when I try to relax.”
“My body always feels like it’s bracing for something.”

This is the mind-body connection in real time. Emotional stress doesn’t just live in your head—it settles in your tissue, your breath, your digestion, your posture.

Common physical flags:

• Jaw tension or teeth grinding

• Shoulder and neck tightness

• Headaches, especially in the evening

• Shallow breathing or chest pressure

• Gut issues (like nausea, bloating, IBS)

• Trouble falling asleep or waking up tired

• Muscle pain or a buzzy, restless energy

• Feeling “checked out” or numb in your own skin

These aren’t malfunctions—they’re messages. And listening to them is where healing begins.

🌿 Small Shifts That Make Room for You

You don’t have to blow up your life to start feeling better. You can start with just one breath. One “no.” One gentle check-in.

Here are a few small, body-honoring ways to start releasing what you’ve been carrying:

1. Name what’s heavy
   When your shoulders are tight or your stomach churns, pause. Ask: “What am I holding right now that doesn’t belong to me?”

2. Claim space
   Not every request needs a yes. Not every text needs a reply right away. Start practicing: “Let me get back to you.”
   ➡️ Simple Scripts for Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

3. Let your body finish the stress cycle
   Stretch. Cry. Shake your hands. Dance to one song. Your body doesn’t just think—it feels. Let it complete what it started.

4. Rest, even when you “haven’t earned it”
   Your worth isn’t tied to productivity. Rest because you are human.
   ➡️ Self-Care & Boundaries: The Key to Avoiding Burnout Before It Starts

✨ Honoring the Journey

You don’t have to be perfect.
You don’t have to know exactly what healing will look like.
You just have to begin by noticing—and honoring—the places that hurt.

Healing is not a race. It’s a returning. A remembering. A softening.

And every time you say “no,” breathe deeply, or ask what you need—you’re already doing the work.

💬 Want Support Along the Way?

If something in your body, thoughts, or relationships is saying “this is too much”—you don’t have to carry it all alone.

I offer virtual therapy for adults in:

Pennsylvania, Vermont, Florida, and South Carolina

You can start with a free 30-minute consultation.

👉 Schedule Your Free Consultation Here

This post is for informational purposes only and is not therapy. It does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Self-Care & Boundaries: The Key to Avoiding Burnout Before It Starts

“I just need to push through.” “I’ll take a break once things calm down.” “It’s not that bad.”

If these thoughts sound familiar, you’re not alone. Many people—especially caregivers, high achievers, and those who take on the emotional needs of others—believe they can keep going until their body and mind force them to stop or even when their body and mind want them to stop, but they keep going.

But what if self-care and boundary-setting weren’t just things you did after burnout? What if they were the very things that could keep burnout from happening in the first place?

The Problem: Waiting Until It’s Too Late

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It creeps in slowly, masked as exhaustion, resentment, or feeling like you just don’t have anything left to give. You may start noticing:

🔥 Emotional Signs: Increased anxiety, irritability, feeling numb or detached.
🔥 Physical Signs: Fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, trouble sleeping, or even severe physical pain/ complications.
🔥 Mental Signs: Brain fog, forgetfulness, or a sense of dread about everyday tasks.

Or even just an overwhelming feeling of blah or confusion.

By the time we acknowledge burnout, we’re often already deep in its grip—making recovery longer and harder.

The Solution: Boundaries & Self-Care as Preventative Medicine

Just like you wouldn’t wait until a car breaks down to get an oil change, you shouldn’t wait until you’re emotionally and/or physically exhausted to set boundaries and care for yourself.

1. Boundaries: Protecting Your Time & Energy

Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out—it’s about making space for your own well-being.

💬 Boundary Script Examples:

• At Work: “I’m happy to help, but I don’t have capacity for extra tasks right now.”

• In Friendships: “I love supporting you, but I need to take care of myself too. Can we check in later?”

• With Family: “I won’t be able to come over this weekend, but let’s plan for next week.”

Boundaries give you permission to prioritize yourself without guilt and help prevent burnout before it starts.

➡️ Need help setting boundaries? Therapy can help you practice boundary-setting in a way that feels natural and empowering.

2. Self-Care: More Than Just Bubble Baths

Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. And it’s more than just spa days or vacations (though those are great too!). Preventative daily self-care includes:

🌿 Physical Self-Care: Getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, moving your body in ways that feel good.
🌿 Emotional Self-Care: Talking to someone you trust, journaling, surrounding yourself with supportive people, allowing yourself to rest without guilt.
🌿 Mental Self-Care: Taking breaks from screens, engaging in hobbies, setting realistic expectations for yourself, decreasing comparison envy from social media.
🌿 Relational Self-Care: Surrounding yourself with people who respect your time, energy, and emotional needs.

By making self-care a regular practice, you keep your emotional “fuel tank” full—so you’re not constantly running on empty. Remember the saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup”; self-care is the way to refill your cup.

➡️ Struggling to prioritize self-care? Let’s work together to create a plan that fits your life.

You Deserve to Feel Balanced, Not Burned Out

If you’ve been feeling stretched too thin, consider this your reminder: you don’t have to wait until you’re completely drained to take care of yourself. You also don’t have to do everything by yourself anymore.

By setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care now, you create a life where you have energy, joy, and emotional space for what truly matters; whether that’s time for your hobbies, family, relationships on your terms, or whatever finding joy and self-care means to you.

➡️Ready to take the first step? Let’s talk about how therapy can help you create balance and prevent burnout before it starts. Schedule a free consultation today!