Self-Care & Boundaries: The Key to Avoiding Burnout Before It Starts

“I just need to push through.” “I’ll take a break once things calm down.” “It’s not that bad.”

If these thoughts sound familiar, you’re not alone. Many people—especially caregivers, high achievers, and those who take on the emotional needs of others—believe they can keep going until their body and mind force them to stop or even when their body and mind want them to stop, but they keep going.

But what if self-care and boundary-setting weren’t just things you did after burnout? What if they were the very things that could keep burnout from happening in the first place?

The Problem: Waiting Until It’s Too Late

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It creeps in slowly, masked as exhaustion, resentment, or feeling like you just don’t have anything left to give. You may start noticing:

🔥 Emotional Signs: Increased anxiety, irritability, feeling numb or detached.
🔥 Physical Signs: Fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, trouble sleeping, or even severe physical pain/ complications.
🔥 Mental Signs: Brain fog, forgetfulness, or a sense of dread about everyday tasks.

Or even just an overwhelming feeling of blah or confusion.

By the time we acknowledge burnout, we’re often already deep in its grip—making recovery longer and harder.

The Solution: Boundaries & Self-Care as Preventative Medicine

Just like you wouldn’t wait until a car breaks down to get an oil change, you shouldn’t wait until you’re emotionally and/or physically exhausted to set boundaries and care for yourself.

1. Boundaries: Protecting Your Time & Energy

Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out—it’s about making space for your own well-being.

💬 Boundary Script Examples:

• At Work: “I’m happy to help, but I don’t have capacity for extra tasks right now.”

• In Friendships: “I love supporting you, but I need to take care of myself too. Can we check in later?”

• With Family: “I won’t be able to come over this weekend, but let’s plan for next week.”

Boundaries give you permission to prioritize yourself without guilt and help prevent burnout before it starts.

➡️ Need help setting boundaries? Therapy can help you practice boundary-setting in a way that feels natural and empowering.

2. Self-Care: More Than Just Bubble Baths

Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. And it’s more than just spa days or vacations (though those are great too!). Preventative daily self-care includes:

🌿 Physical Self-Care: Getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, moving your body in ways that feel good.
🌿 Emotional Self-Care: Talking to someone you trust, journaling, surrounding yourself with supportive people, allowing yourself to rest without guilt.
🌿 Mental Self-Care: Taking breaks from screens, engaging in hobbies, setting realistic expectations for yourself, decreasing comparison envy from social media.
🌿 Relational Self-Care: Surrounding yourself with people who respect your time, energy, and emotional needs.

By making self-care a regular practice, you keep your emotional “fuel tank” full—so you’re not constantly running on empty. Remember the saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup”; self-care is the way to refill your cup.

➡️ Struggling to prioritize self-care? Let’s work together to create a plan that fits your life.

You Deserve to Feel Balanced, Not Burned Out

If you’ve been feeling stretched too thin, consider this your reminder: you don’t have to wait until you’re completely drained to take care of yourself. You also don’t have to do everything by yourself anymore.

By setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care now, you create a life where you have energy, joy, and emotional space for what truly matters; whether that’s time for your hobbies, family, relationships on your terms, or whatever finding joy and self-care means to you.

➡️Ready to take the first step? Let’s talk about how therapy can help you create balance and prevent burnout before it starts. Schedule a free consultation today!

Recognizing and Managing Trauma Responses

How Trauma Affects the Body and How to Begin Healing

What Are Trauma Responses and Why Do They Happen?

Trauma isn’t just something that happened in the past—it can live in the body and mind, shaping how we react to stress, relationships, and everyday situations. Sometimes, our reactions seem “too much” for the moment, but in reality, they are survival responses learned from past experiences.

If you've ever found yourself shutting down, overreacting, or feeling overwhelmed without knowing why—your body may be responding to unresolved trauma.

Recognizing these responses is the first step toward healing.

In this post, you’ll learn:
✅ What trauma responses look like
✅ How trauma affects your mind and body
✅ Simple strategies to manage trauma responses and feel more in control

What Are Trauma Responses?

When your nervous system detects a perceived threat—whether physical or emotional—it reacts in one of four survival modes:

• Fight (anger, irritability, control)

• Flight (anxiety, perfectionism, overworking)

• Freeze (numbness, dissociation, shutting down)

• Fawn (people-pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries)

Recognizing Trauma Responses

1. Fight Response 🚨

👉 Snapping at people, feeling easily irritated, needing control.

• Feeling easily frustrated or angry

• Reacting aggressively to small inconveniences

• Feeling the need to be in control

• Defending yourself even when not necessary

👉 Example: You snap at your partner or friend because they interrupted you, even though they meant no harm.

2. Flight Response 🏃‍♂️

👉 Constant busyness, avoiding emotions, feeling restless.

• Feeling anxious or on edge

• Overworking or keeping busy to avoid emotions

• Constantly planning an “escape” from situations

• Feeling like you need to do more to be safe

👉 Example: You keep yourself busy with work or social media so you don’t have to sit with uncomfortable emotions.

3. Freeze Response ❄️

👉 Feeling stuck, unable to express emotions, zoning out.

• Feeling paralyzed when faced with a decision

• Struggling to express yourself

• Feeling emotionally numb or detached

• Losing track of time or feeling “disconnected” from reality

👉 Example: You’re in an argument and suddenly go blank, unable to respond—even though you have so much to say.

4. Fawn Response 🙏

👉 Saying “yes” to everything, struggling with boundaries, putting others first.

• Saying “yes” even when you want to say “no”

• Prioritizing others’ needs over your own

• Avoiding conflict at all costs

• Feeling guilty when you set boundaries

👉 Example: You agree to help a friend move, even though you’re exhausted and need rest, because you don’t want to disappoint them.

How Trauma Affects the Body

Trauma isn’t just emotional—it’s stored in the body. Here’s how unprocessed trauma can show up physically:

💔 Racing heart, shallow breathing → Body in fight-or-flight mode.
😨 Digestive issues → Stress affecting the gut.
😴 Fatigue or insomnia → Chronic stress disrupting sleep patterns.
🧍‍♀️ Muscle tension, headaches, chronic pain → Body holding onto unresolved trauma.

5 Ways to Manage Trauma Responses

1. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

   One effective way to regulate trauma responses is by using one of the following grounding skills:

Four Elements Grounding Skill:

🌍 Earth → Press feet into the ground, hold a weighted object.
💨 Air → Take deep, slow breaths, feel the wind.
💧 Water → Drink cool water, splash face with water.
🔥 Fire → Rub hands together quickly to create friction and warmth, place hands on face to experience the fire you can create.

5,4,3,2,1 Grounding Skill:

5 Things You Can See: List and identify 5 things around you that you can see. While doing this being as specific and detailed works best. Repeat similar steps for the following senses.

4 Things You Can Touch

3 Things You Can Hear

2 Things You Can Smell

1 Thing You Can Taste

📌 Why It Works: Engaging your senses helps bring you back to the present moment, signaling safety to your nervous system.

2. Regulate Your Breathing

Your breath is a powerful tool for calming your nervous system—but the exhale needs to be longer than the inhale. This signals safety to the brain.

Belly Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing):

• Place one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest.

• Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, feeling your stomach expand.

• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds.

• Repeat until your heart rate slows down.

📌 Why It Works: A longer exhale engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps turn off the fight-or-flight response.

3. Move Your Body to Release Stored Trauma

Trauma often gets stuck in the body. Slow, rhythmic movement helps release it.

• Go for a short walk or stretch gently.

• Bilateral Stimulation Tapping: Slowly tap your shoulders, arms, or knees, alternating sides at a slow and steady rhythm (similar to EMDR therapy).

• Shake out tension in your arms and legs to discharge stress.

📌 Why It Works: Movement releases stored energy from trauma, preventing emotional overwhelm.

4. Create Small, Safe Boundaries

• Practice saying, “I need to think about it,” before agreeing to something.

• Start small, like declining an extra work task when overwhelmed.

• Write down your needs before a conversation so you feel more prepared.

📌 Why It Works: Setting boundaries retrains your brain to feel safe expressing needs without guilt.

5. Reframe Your Trauma Responses as Survival Strategies

Instead of judging yourself for your reactions, remind yourself:

✅ “My brain and body are trying to keep me safe.”
✅ “I’m learning new ways to respond, and that’s okay.”
✅ “Each small step I take toward healing is a win.”

📌 Why It Works: Self-compassion shifts your mindset from “What’s wrong with me?” to “I’m doing my best to heal.”

If you would like to learn more about how I help people manage their trauma take a look at my trauma page.

Healing Trauma Takes Time – And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Recognizing trauma responses is the first step toward healing. The next step? Learning how to regulate them in a way that feels safe and empowering.

🚀 Every small step is progress. Every time you pause, breathe, or set a boundary, you are re-teaching your nervous system that you are safe.

If you're ready to explore trauma healing in a supportive space, therapy can help.

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and is not meant to replace therapy or to be considered medical advice. This information comes from my years of schooling and work with individuals who have experienced trauma in their lives.